every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
