This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
