it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
