If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
