Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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