my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
