I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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