I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
