the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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