ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
