I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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