whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
