put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
