Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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