We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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