But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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