on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
