After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
