When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize