how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
...so i touched it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
