so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
