That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
