yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
