Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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