There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
