I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
