it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize