There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
