I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
