you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
