A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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