am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
