I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
