So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm bleeding and have questions
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
