Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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