new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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