I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
