I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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