i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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