How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize