i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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