I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Everyone says I win the strip club
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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