just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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