I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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