2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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