Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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