ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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