Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
