I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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