apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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