Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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