Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
