O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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