I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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