you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
