Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize