But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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