Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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