I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Umm I'm too high to move.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
