ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
