i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
time to smoke my breakfast
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
