Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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