she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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