LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
