Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
