Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
