I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
