I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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