At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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