Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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