It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
