dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
